A Rainbow

I saw a rainbow the other day. It was actually a double, although the second one was very faint. It was a nice reminder of His promises to us. I guess I really kind of needed to see it.

Thankfully, the group call back is lessening. I know that I am growing ever stronger, even though there are many days when I don't feel it.

My walk with Yahweh is growing deeper. I have His protection. I have seen it. Others have seen it. Why me? Why not some of my friends? That is what I ask. Yet, I know that He is protecting them, too, in ways that none of us can see yet.

I know that, when I look back, there are things He had to lead me out of a bit at a time. The free will of others was involved, too, as well as my own. I did not even know what was really going on. I did not know about the accessing. I did not know about the cult group. It was all dissociated away, buried somewhere inside, along with the memories of my sister.

Yep, I still don't remember much of anything about growing up with her. Maybe it is better that way, given the few things I have started to remember. *sigh* I can live with not remembering. Yes, I can.

Hey, wanna see a pic of the rainbows? I will try to get one up here.

God is Good and Calling Home

Life is good. Yahweh God is good. He is what makes life good. Otherwise, there really isn't much this world has to offer to me. I see what is happening all around me. Things are coming to a head and we had all better be ready. I mean ready in the spiritual sense because I really don't believe there is much we can do in the physical.

This world is running on a plan. Evil has a plan, and it will appear to work for awhile. Then it will fail. Yahweh God, who made all things, will always be the ultimate victor. He is more powerful than anyone, or anything, on this earth. Count on it! I eagerly await Yeshua/Jesus' return.

My family wants me to reconnect with them. Call "home". Check in. It is not going to happen. If it does, it will be on my terms, not theirs. Until Yahweh God makes it very clear that I am to call them, I won't. Period. End of subject.

I have just gone through about a month of reconnect programming being triggered with several days this week being the strongest. Well, it did not work. Yahweh God is protecting me. He has shown me His protection, even to the point of sending angels (seen by someone else).

The one time I did get accessed, by a local therapist, it was because I was confused about what I was hearing inside. I saw the danger signs but did not properly interpret them. Still, He was there with me. He allowed me to realize what happened and taught me through it. I am wiser now. He turned it around for my good. Nothing happens without His either causing it or allowing it. I choose to trust Him for whatever happens...good or bad.

Several times He has clearly given me directions to keep me safe. I will keep on listening to Him and learning to hear Him better. If I am taken, He will use it somehow for my ultimate good, like teaching me. He will show Himself strong in me.

I will NOT fear!

Being Open About Myself

I don't sign my name on my posts. There is a reason for that. Who I am is not as important as the message I bring. There was a time when I did not let anyone know who I really was...even on survivor forums...for safety reasons. As I share more of my history, it will become more clear as to why that has been a concern.

But lately, things have been changing for me...inside. I believe Yahweh is calling me to be more open. That is one reason I started this public blog. Yet, I do not put it on the blogger list. You will not find it in a google search; but I do appreciate anyone who puts the link on their page. There are ways to get here, obviously, since you are reading this! **smile** Whoever is supposed to read this blog...will! **GRIN**

I realize that the more open I am about my history and my life thoughts, the greater the likelihood that someone who knows me may suddenly think "Oh my gosh...I think I recognize who this is! Why I even talk to her and see her in person!" Or, "Wow! I recognize her writing. I know her from a forum!" Of course, I have invited a lot of my forum friends to come and read anyway, so they DO have an idea of who I am.

This blog is not really about who I am, though, but more about what Yahweh/God has done in my life. I would not be alive today. I would not be functioning even as well as I do...if it were not for Him. He has protected me in ways that are just amazing to me. I have survived generational cult abuse. And yes, I realize that the more I share, the more there is a likelihood that someone who is active in the cult might figure out who I am. But I figure, the group already knows where I am anyway. I have tangled with cult active therapists, both online and offline. It was very hard to deal with...but you know what? I am STILL standing!!!

Yahweh is my God. He is my protector. He is bigger than they ever could hope be. I will obey Him and write here and trust Him to take care of me and of those I love. Nothing happens by accident. I will trust Him to walk me through whatever comes down the road.