I saw a rainbow the other day. It was actually a double, although the second one was very faint. It was a nice reminder of His promises to us. I guess I really kind of needed to see it.
Thankfully, the group call back is lessening. I know that I am growing ever stronger, even though there are many days when I don't feel it.
My walk with Yahweh is growing deeper. I have His protection. I have seen it. Others have seen it. Why me? Why not some of my friends? That is what I ask. Yet, I know that He is protecting them, too, in ways that none of us can see yet.
I know that, when I look back, there are things He had to lead me out of a bit at a time. The free will of others was involved, too, as well as my own. I did not even know what was really going on. I did not know about the accessing. I did not know about the cult group. It was all dissociated away, buried somewhere inside, along with the memories of my sister.
Yep, I still don't remember much of anything about growing up with her. Maybe it is better that way, given the few things I have started to remember. *sigh* I can live with not remembering. Yes, I can.
Hey, wanna see a pic of the rainbows? I will try to get one up here.
It feels good to move forward...to take positive steps for myself.
It feels good to know that I am growing inside.
It feels good to know that I can set healthy boundaries...and still love the ones I am setting them with.
It also feels good to feel stronger. Each step I take forward makes me stronger. And I know Who it is that helps me do that. I know that I cannot do it on my own.
It feels good to be able to give and receive support.
It feels good to know that I am loved and cared for.
It feels good to be able to love and care for others.
It feels good to be able to keep on facing the past without letting it hold me back from the future.
It feels good to be able to write things that others actually enjoy reading.
In fact, it feels good to be able to write things that I enjoy reading! Like my poetry!
It feels good to know that I am not alone...even though there are times when I still find myself feeling very isolated and alone.
It feels good to know that I do not have to live by feelings even though I am sometimes overwhelmed to the point of feeling incapacitated by them.
I know that all things eventually pass. Life is up and down. There will be good days and bad days. Up days and down days. I won't have all good days, but neither will I have all bad days!
It feels good to be able to face life, knowing that Yahweh God has all things in His hands. He is allowing things in my life to help me grow strong. He is bringing people into my life to help me...and people for me to help. And that, too, feels really good!
I am grateful for what I have.
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